You work out of a Hotel?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
