the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
