mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
