I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
