i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
