the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
