So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
im six kinds of drunk right now
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
