Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Mom said you looked used
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Randomize