How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Randomize
