i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.