I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
