he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule