And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream