I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
