What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
don't judge my taste in strippers
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
