called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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