I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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