Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
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there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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