Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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