so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
