I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
