Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
