i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
