Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
