The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
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Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
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I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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