is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You smell like stripper and shame
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
