How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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