first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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