can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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