I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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