Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
