We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
