Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
how drunk are you?
Several
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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