I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
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