Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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