found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
