we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
