So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
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Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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