Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
there's paper in my vomit.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
