Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
