Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
