I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize