It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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