My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
