I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
