If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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