Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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