you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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