WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
