I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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