There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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