it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
