dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
