yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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