i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
