Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
