Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
