I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
