im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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