nut hugger
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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