We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize