these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
