I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
